A Nugget of Nutrition Do you have a toxic relationship?

Have you or anyone you know gone hungry or skipped a meal with the hope that you will lose weight?  Or maybe you have heard about substituting a shake for a meal.  It seems ok since the shake advertizes that it has all the vitamins you need, but usually that just leaves you hungry and obsessing about your next meal. When most people hear the word “diet” they usually groan and think of hunger and being deprived.  They think, “Well, I guess I won’t be enjoying my favorite foods for a long while. Nothing but salads for me.” All of a sudden you find yourself watching what everyone else is eating. If you have kids, especially a teenage boy, they seem like a bottomless pit; consuming anything and everything in their sights without gaining an ounce. You may even find yourself talking to food that you crave. “Goodbye chewy, chunky, delicious chocolate chip cookies. Farewell big, giant coffee frappaccino thing with the smooth whipped cream and the sweet chocolate drizzle. So long my comforting bowl of ice cream at night. No more late night movies for us.” It is like a love affair.

For many of us this is food we have given years of devotion to.  I gave mine a name. I call it my BFF: my best favorite food. Unfortunately, this love affair is toxic. Sure your BFF may call to you in a soft voice and whisper sweet nothings to you from the kitchen. And it tells you exactly what you want to hear. So you give in to your BFF. It makes you feel happy and warm inside and everything seems wonderful for a while. Then your BFF goes behind your back (or in this case in your stomach) and doesn’t exactly return your devotion. The love you have given it doesn’t seem to be enough so it seeks other places to get attention. It starts a very public love affair with your hips, thighs, tummy area or even your butt. Sometimes it is sneaky. It hides in your arteries and gives you high blood pressure. Either way, it puts a real strain on your heart. You know you have to put an end to this relationship no matter how good it may seem at times, but how?

The reason why conventional diets don’t work is because they don’t address the real problem: the toxic relationship you have with food. Most diet plans expect you to wake up one morning and completely change what you eat. They may ask you to count points or calories, but these plans ask you to become even more obsessed with your food intake. A habit that you have had for years will not change over night. You may be able to stick with a conventional diet for a while. You may even lose weight, but sooner or later you go back to your old habits. It is like quitting cold turkey. For some people it works but not many. Studies show that fewer than 5% of people who quit smoking have done it cold turkey.  Studies also show that that number is pretty consistent with the percentage of people who lose weight and keep if off with any of those conventional diet plans. Changing a habit is easier when you replace it with another habit. But unless you fully understand why you should break a life long habit, chances are the new habit won’t stick.  In other words, if you don’t understand why you need to find a new BFF then you will always go back to your old more comfortable BFF. Why? Because it’s easier and familiar, and when things get tough people, tend to go back to what’s more comfortable.

So how do you let go? Your whole thought process about food has to change. The first thing you should do is not think diet. Since diet has become a bad word and is usually something people don’t expect to do forever, you need to think healthier eating. You may even have to change the way you think about healthy eating. A friend of mine once described the healthy food my partner and I eat as grey. I believe he may have been referring to the way it tasted to him. His taste buds were too clouded by the sweet and over-processed foods he was eating.  Then his thoughts changed about the food he was consuming.  It was about the ethical treatment of animals that helped him end his fast food addiction. After that he started to question all of his food. “Where does it come from? How is it made and grown?” He took a very green approach to healthy eating and bought better food. Now he eats much healthier and really enjoys eating and preparing his meals. This is a big change. He never liked or even wanted to cook before. I don’t think he would describe his food as grey, anymore. As a matter of fact, I heard him refer to a cucumber basket that he recently won as “a good time”. He lost 25lbs this summer and gained a new perspective on food. Way to go Mike!

Everyone is different so everyone will have their own reason for changing their eating habits. You have to be just as connected to those reasons as you are with your BFF.  It doesn’t happen over night. It’s a gradual thing.  Your healthy eating habits shouldn’t leave you hungry or feeling deprived. You should never watch others eat and feel like you are missing out. Your new way of eating should be all about adding healthier things to your life. You new BFF should love you as much as you love it. It should be delicious. It should whisper sweet nothings to you and leave you satisfied. It should be something your mind and body love equally. It should be something that is nutritious; something that is willing to give its all to you without looking elsewhere for attention. After all, isn’t that what a healthy, long lasting relationship is all about?

As always, if you have a question or comment about this topic, please let us know.

Written by Joann Agoglia

Edited by Robert Marshall